Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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