whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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