How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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