remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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