Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize