My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
