Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
