listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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