i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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