I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
