So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
