hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize