Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
