i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
