Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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