so that wasnt chicken after all
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
