with your own penis?
only you would photoshop your dick
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
