omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think your dad took our porno
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
