god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize