yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
