hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
two words...techno handjob
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
