I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Randomize
