I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
