I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize