it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
