just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
