I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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