YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
