I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
