During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
