The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
