i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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