it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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