Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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