I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
