I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just invented taco cereal.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
