the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
now i know why i became what i already was.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
