Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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