hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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