I am spending my child support on dildos
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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