Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
