So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
