Someone shit on the floor
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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