Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I forgot how hot balto sounded
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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