escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
