Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
