My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
