I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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