I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
