This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
