and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
you never un-have a 4some
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
