im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
