This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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