no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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