I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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