she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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