I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My feet surprised me
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