I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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