forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize